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Rediscover Intimacy, Today

Experience deeper connections than ever with the secret weapon of tabletop gaming

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Josh Littleton

Ph.D, LMHC

years experience

Is our knowledge of sex, restrictive?

Could there be more to pleasure and intimacy than just 5 minutes of the “bedroom tango?” Is our understanding of how to access pleasure, limiting? Playing tabletop games together can enhance communication and increase intimacy between partners. In a tabletop game, players must work together to achieve a common goal, often relying on verbal and nonverbal communication to coordinate their actions. This can lead to increased opportunities for partners to talk and listen to one another, improving their communication skills. Additionally, the shared experience of gaming can foster a sense of intimacy between partners by creating a space where they can focus solely on each other and their shared activity.

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Use Art of Play

The powerful intersection of Adult Play and Queer Theory.

Board games have the potential to create a safe space for intimate conversations that may be difficult to have in a relationship. This is especially true when it comes to sensitive topics such as sexual preferences, desires, and conflicts. By using board games to support intimacy, couples can create a more open and honest dialogue, build trust, and deepen their emotional bond. The use of board games for intimacy is a unique approach that combines the principles of queer theory and adult play therapy mechanics. To assess if tabletop gaming can be a great fit for you and your relationship(s), ask yourself these questions:

  • How comfortable am I discussing sensitive topics with my partner? Are there any topics that I find particularly difficult to talk about?
  • How open am I to using alternative approaches to deepen my emotional bond with my partner, such as board games or other adult play therapy mechanics?
  • Am I willing to step outside of my comfort zone and try new approaches to improve the quality of my relationship with my partner?
  • How can I use the principles of board games for intimacy to create a more open and honest dialogue with my partner and build greater trust in our relationship?

Queer theory and board gaming are two seemingly different worlds, but they have a lot in common. Both involve exploring identity, challenging norms, and creating new ways of thinking and being. Board games provide a unique platform for applying queer theory concepts, such as disrupting binaries and embracing difference. Queer theory encourages us to question the norms and constructs that limit our understanding of identity, and board games offer a safe space to do so. By engaging with board games through a queer theory lens, players can explore their own identities, challenge societal norms, and foster a sense of community and acceptance. Ultimately, the combination of queer theory and board gaming creates an inclusive, thought-provoking, and empowering experience for players of all backgrounds and identities. To assess if relational intimacy can be expanded, ask yourself these questions:

  • In what ways have I embraced or challenged traditional ideas of what it means to be intimate in a relationship?
  • What steps can I take to create a more inclusive and affirming space for my partner(s) to express their unique desires and preferences?
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How Gaming Unlocks Pleasure

How Fog of Love, Decorum, and Legacy of Dragonholt can provide relational support for you and your partner(s). Fog of Love, Decorum, and Legacy of Dragonholt are board games that can be used to improve relationships and increase intimacy potential. These games are designed to promote open communication, self-disclosure, inclusion, and conflict management.

It is a two-player game that focuses on simulating a romantic relationship. The game encourages players to communicate their desires and preferences, helping them to explore their own and their partner’s needs and desires. This can lead to greater intimacy and a deeper understanding of each other.

It is a game that simulates a Victorian-era social gathering. It requires players to use proper etiquette, encouraging them to communicate in a respectful and considerate manner. This can improve conflict management skills and promote inclusivity and understanding in relationships.

is a choose-your-own-adventure style game that allows players to create and explore their own story together. The game requires players to work together to make decisions and solve problems, promoting teamwork and communication. 

Revelations is not just a game; it’s a tool for communication and self-discovery that has found its way into therapeutic settings. The gentle pacing and carefully crafted questions provide a non-threatening space for players to reveal truths about themselves and their relationships. Through shared gameplay experiences, players can uncover hidden emotions and desires, creating a pathway for improved understanding and empathy.

Consentacle is a game specifically designed to foster communication skills and exploration, making it great for exploring kink and pleasure within a relationship. Through its unique gameplay, it guides players to connect on a deeper emotional level, allowing them to explore their sexual preferences and fantasies without judgment, enhancing self-awareness, empathy, and trust. By focusing on consent and open communication, Consentacle serves as a valuable tool for developing more fulfilling relationships built on mutual respect, understanding, and connection.

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Kickstarting Marriage and Pleasure

Our story of board games saving our relationship.

Board games can promote exploration and experimentation in the bedroom by inspiring couples to try new things and push the boundaries of their sexual relationship. Personally, my husband and I struggled to maintain intimacy and connection with each other after several years of marriage. We found ourselves stuck in communication patterns that led to conflicts and feelings of disconnection. Using board games as a tool to strengthen our relationship was a breakthrough for us. We started with simple games like card games and board games like Snakes and Ladders, and as we continued to play, we noticed that our conversations became more profound and meaningful. The games provided a safe space for us to open up and share our thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment or criticism. 

 

One of the most significant moments in our journey of using games to strengthen our relationship was when we played “The Game of Life”. This game helped us to discuss and explore our hopes and dreams for the future and to learn more about what was important to each other. As we became more comfortable with the idea of using games to strengthen our relationship, we tried more complex games like “Settlers of Catan and Pandemic”. These games required more strategy and communication and helped us to build trust and teamwork. We also found “Dixit” to be helpful in opening up and sharing our thoughts and feelings in a safe and non-judgmental environment. Playing games together has helped us to increase the level of intimacy and pleasure in our marriage, strengthen our connection, and build trust and understanding. It has also helped us to explore different aspects of our relationship and learn more about each other.

Just like having pizza every Friday night as we watch RuPaul’s Drag Race, playing games together has become an essential part of our relationship and a way to connect and communicate on a deeper level. It has also helped us to maintain a sense of fun and playfulness in our relationship, which is essential for any long-term relationship. Overall, using board games to strengthen our relationship and increase intimacy in our marriage has been a valuable experience. I would recommend this approach to other couples to strengthen their relationship and increase intimacy in their marriage. By establishing gaming rituals as a regular part of a relationship, couples can strengthen communication skills, build trust, and create a safe space for exploring deeper emotions and desires.

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Meet Josh Littleton

Ph.D, LMHC

Josh is a clinical sexologist who helps clients achieve sexual self-empowerment through a personalized, holistic, and client-driven approach. With Josh’s support, clients experience deeper, more satisfying intimacy in their sexual relationships. As a queer geek male, Josh’s lived experiences have informed his foundation as a clinician, and he offers accurate, complete, and up-to-date information based on the client’s input. Josh uses alternative therapeutic mediums, such as tabletop gaming, to remove taboos and foster a successful therapeutic process.

Background

Pleasure in whichever way you define and experience it is central to a healthier, and holistic understanding of your sexual universe. Our sexual lives are in constant transformation, and our experiences have the potential to change over the course of our lifetime. A clinical sexologist is a healthcare professional who specializes in treating sexual problems and disorders, as well as in enhancing sexual health and well-being. These professionals have received specialized training in working with sexual issues and sexuality through post-graduate education. . Clinical sexologists work with individuals, couples, and families to help them address and overcome problems such as low libido, erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, orgasmic disorders, and identity or orientation concerns. They may also help individuals in relationships communicate better, learn new sexual techniques, or deal with sexual addiction. In addition to providing medical and psychological treatments, clinical sexologists also offer sex education and counseling. Sex therapy can help improve your sexual health in several ways:

  • Address any underlying physical issues that may be contributing to sexual problems
  • Innovate and desensitize communication within the relationship
  • Provide tools and resources to cope with underlying psychological concerns to develop a healthier attitude toward intimacy
  • Increase knowledge about sexual health and explore methods for increasing pleasure

Clinical Education & Accomplishments

Get In Touch

(888) 888-8888

Available from 10:00 – 19:00

Email jlittleton@excelsisbehavioralhealth.com

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